


i want to see you fall apart

by cactusparade



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Dirty Talk, Established Relationship, Fluff and Smut, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Mirror Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-01
Updated: 2019-12-01
Packaged: 2021-02-26 23:01:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21627124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cactusparade/pseuds/cactusparade
Summary: "Standing in front of the new mirrored closet doors Buck installed in his apartment, he takes out his phone, throws up a peace sign, and snaps a photo to send to Eddie. He captions it ‘the fruits of my labor’ and doesn’t have to wait more than a minute before he gets a reply.‘Looks great. It’d look even better if I was behind you.’Buck’s face heats up instantly."Or, Buck and Eddie have sex in front of a mirror.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz
Comments: 12
Kudos: 679





	i want to see you fall apart

**Author's Note:**

> my first fic for this fandom. enjoy!
> 
> not beta'd

Standing in front of the new mirrored closet doors Buck installed in his apartment, he takes out his phone, throws up a peace sign, and snaps a photo to send to Eddie. He captions it ‘ _the fruits of my labor_ ’ and doesn’t have to wait more than a minute before he gets a reply.

‘ _Looks great. It’d look even better if I was behind you._ ’

Buck’s face heats up instantly. It’s almost juvenile how quickly Eddie can get under his skin, how one simple sentence gets his heart racing. Knowing he won’t be able to see Eddie properly until the next night, he still sends back ‘ _get over here and get behind me then_ ’.

‘ _Tomorrow. Chris is going to a sleepover._ ’

His heart starts beating faster. It’s going to be one hell of a night.

***

Buck isn’t able to get Eddie’s text out of his head. Throughout his thankfully low key shift, it’s always in the back of his mind. Despite all his exploits as Buck 1.0, mirror sex was never something he thought about. He didn’t need it when he could see his partner just fine in front of him. It also didn’t help that a continuous string of sexual partners gave him a warped sense of self. His body - however objectively good by society’s standards - was just a means to an end; he really didn’t want to see it during such a vulnerable moment.

But things with Eddie are different. He makes sure to let Buck know that there’s more to him than just his body. Almost daily, Eddie makes some kind of comment that lets Buck know he loves his unconventional way of thinking. When Buck gets tripped up trying to verbalize his thoughts, Eddie’s endlessly patient, smiling despite Buck’s false starts and multiple backtracks. It’s helpful without being infantilizing, something not even Maddie has mastered.

There’s also the way Eddie’s eyes go soft whenever Buck does anything with Christopher. When Buck helps him with homework or picks him up from school or does any number of fatherly duties, Eddie looks seconds away from proposing on the spot. It helps Buck fight feelings of inadequacy of a different kind, the doubts that he’d never make a good father because he was convinced he wouldn’t be able to follow a healthier parenting model than his own parents raised him on. He’d never hit a child, not like his dad, but he was always worried that passive-aggressiveness would fester inside of him and infect any relationship he had with his own child. Seeing Chris’ bright smile everyday and hearing about his never ending enthusiasm whenever he gets to see _his Buck_ , coupled with Eddie’s fierce reassurances that there’s no one else he’d rather co-parent his child with, makes Buck realize that being a part of the Diaz family is the best thing he’ll ever do.

So Buck’s mostly excited by the time he makes it back to his apartment after his shift. The nerves are still there, but they take a backseat to imaging possibilities as he showers away the day. The warm water eases his tense muscles and he gets into a calm head space while completing his post-shower routine. That calm immediately disappears as he exits the bathroom and jumps out of his skin at seeing a person sitting on his bed before he realizes it’s Eddie.

He makes a show of putting a hand over his racing heart. “Jesus, man.”

“Sorry,” Eddie says, but he looks anything but. Smug, aroused, well-rested, but not sorry. He motions Buck closer with a single finger. “How was your shift?”

“Nothing noteworthy happened,” Buck says, stepping closer. He keeps walking forward until he’s in between Eddie’s legs, close enough Eddie could learn forward and kiss his navel if he wanted to. “Good thing, too. I was distracted by your message all day.”

“You were?” Eddie’s hands grip Buck’s hips, thumbs sweeping slowly across his hip bones. “Good.”

“Good?” Buck repeats incredulously. He cups Eddie’s face and kisses him chastely. 

“It’s only fair. I’ve been thinking about this since you sent me that picture.” Using his grip on Buck, Eddie maneuvers him until he’s straddling Eddie’s lap, bare skin against rough denim.

“Yeah?” Buck asks, breath stuttering as Eddie’s tongue teases a nipple. “What - what have you been thinking about?”

“How good you’ll look,” Eddie answers immediately. He reaches a hand out to grab the lube Buck has in his nightstand, moves carefully so he can coat his fingers and reach around Buck to get them inside without dislodging him. He slips one finger in gently, kissing Buck’s throat to distract him from the cold liquid he wasn’t patient enough to warm up. “You have no idea how good you look when you’re blushing all the way down to your chest, when you’re taking my dick so perfectly. It drives me crazy how hot you are when I fuck you so hard your eyes get hazy.”

One finger becomes two. Buck’s already panting, Eddie’s fingers and Eddie’s words and _Eddie in general_ getting him so worked up before they’re even at the main event. The disparity in clothing doesn’t help either, a kink Buck doesn’t mention a lot because getting to see Eddie naked is a kink all its own. His arms are around Eddie’s shoulders and his hands find a tight grip in Eddie’s hair when Eddie pulls back to get more lube and adds another finger.

“You almost ready for me, _cariño_?” Eddie asks. His fingers nudge meaningfully against Buck’s prostate and Buck surges forward to kiss him, nothing chaste about it. It’s violent desperation, no finesse on Buck’s end.

“I’m ready! C’mon, Eddie, please. Get inside me, _please_ -”

“ _Dios_ ,” Eddie grits out. He carefully extracts his fingers and helps Buck off his lap. “Hands and knees,” he instructs, stripping out of his clothes and grabbing a condom and the lube.

Buck is ready to vibrate out of his skin by the time Eddie finally gets behind him. The effort it takes to hold himself up feels monumental, like he’s one strong thrust away from collapsing. Maybe he is. It certainly seems that way when Eddie starts to push into him. It’s always a fucking revelation no matter how many times they have sex, the feeling of his body opening to make room for Eddie. He gracelessly drops down to his forearms, head hanging low as Eddie starts to find a rhythm. 

And apparently that won’t do because Eddie gets a fist in Buck’s barely long enough hair and _yanks_ until they can lock eyes in the mirror. “That’s better,” he coos mockingly. “See how depraved you look?”

And Buck _does_. He’s blushing all the way down to his collarbones, just like Eddie said he does. It only gets worse when Eddie wraps his free arm around Buck's chest and pulls him up until his back is flush against Eddie’s chest. The new angle forces Eddie’s dick so deep inside him that it punches all the air out of his lungs.

He makes an embarrassing keening sound when Eddie gets the leverage he needs to thrust deeper. Buck's hands grip frantically at the arm across his chest. “Fuck, you feel so _good_. Want to quit my job so you can fuck me into the mattress every day. Always want you inside me.” And it’s the complete truth. He feels stuffed full. Every action is amplified by being able to see his own reactions in real time. The way his cock jerks every time Eddie grazes his prostate, the flushed head peeking out from his foreskin and drooling precum onto the sheets. He likes how Eddie’s smaller frame looks holding him in place, the nice contrast of his tan skin against Buck’s pale torso, the way his dark hair looks as Eddie uses his grip on Buck's hair to give himself room to bite at Buck's neck.

Buck himself looks wrecked. As if reading his mind, Eddie looks up and meets his eyes again. “Look at you.” He sounds so proud. The hand in Buck’s hair moves to his throat, more for show than anything else, while the other ghosts down his stomach to grab his dick. Eddie teases the head with his thumb for a few seconds before he gives it up to stroke Buck properly. “You look ruined.” He puts pressure on a hickey he made earlier. “You let yourself get _ruined_ by me because you know nobody else can fuck you like I do. Nobody else knows how to satiate the cumslut inside you. Isn’t that right, _cariño_?” 

The need to cum, previously dormant while Buck was so focused on _seeing_ , becomes nearly overwhelming. “Only you, Eddie. God, make me cum, please, please, please!” He sobs. “I’ve been good, please!”

“So needy.” The chiding is belied by the way Eddie strokes his dick faster, hand twisting beautifully on the upstroke. “C’mon, Buck.” 

Eddie grinds in deep, settles right against Buck’s prostate. It _hurts_ , devastating and intense and _good_. Heat strikes like lightning in his gut and it spreads until it overtakes everything and he spills all over his own stomach and Eddie’s hand. 

Eddie milks him until his moans turn into whimpers. He’s boneless; he slumps down to his original position so Eddie can grab onto his ribs and manipulate his body to chase his own release. Buck's almost too sensitive for it to be bearable but it’s worth it to see how Eddie’s abdominal muscles flex with each thrust.

“You take such good care of me,” Buck moans out. “Treat me so well. Gimme what I want, Eddie, cum inside me.” It doesn’t matter that Eddie’s wearing protection; the words to the trick.

Eddie pushes in deep again and groans low, fingers tightening to the point of bruising. He bends so he can rest his head between Buck's shoulder blades for a few moments before pulling out as gently as he can. Eddie places a kiss where his head was resting before he gets up to throw away the condom and get a damp towel.

Buck’s sprawled on his side, eyes closed and a content smile on his face. Eddie works to clean him, quick but tender movements that leave Buck as good as he’ll be without a proper shower.

“You okay?” Eddie asks, getting them both under the covers. “I wasn’t too rough?”

“You were perfect,” Buck says honestly. Every experience with Eddie, sexual or otherwise, fills his heart with more love than he ever thought could exist within himself. He cuddles up to Eddie’s side and gives him a soft, lingering kiss. “I love you.”

Buck gets a soft smile in return. “I love you, too.”

They’ve said those words enough that the novelty should’ve worn off by now, but all it does it reinforce the knowledge that Eddie is it for him. He wants this forever, wants to spend every day of his life with Eddie, raising Christopher and helping him navigate the world together. He wants to become Evan Diaz. Buck knows they’ve only been together for eight months, and he also knows acting recklessly is kind of his M.O., but thinking about marrying Eddie doesn’t feel reckless at all. It feels like coming home.

**Author's Note:**

> [my tumblr](https://cactusparade.tumblr.com/)


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